Living with Dyslexia and ADHD
As a child, I avoided reading like the plague. I preferred to do activities that required movement, using my imagination, or working with my hands. I was always too nervous to ask questions in class when I didn’t understand something for fear of being labeled “stupid” or “dumb” which resulted in me being confused for probably 75% of my elementary school days. I was super active playing basketball, and softball, and being outside as much as possible.
I was lucky enough to go to a small private school through 7th grade. The smaller class sizes didn’t overwhelm me when we were required to read aloud. Although I messed up many words and it took me longer than my peers to get through a sentence, I believe the smaller class sizes gave me the opportunity to build a better relationship with my teachers.
Once 8th grade came, I was placed in a public school with over 500 students in the entire school. You could say this was a culture shock for someone who went from a school's total size of 120 students. I remember the pace of the classes was much faster. I was given more homework and it required me to read a lot. Conceptual learning was the teaching style of this school and while I appreciate that now, I was completely thrown off and overwhelmed but I didn’t want my peers or family to know I couldn’t handle the workload - this goes back to not wanting to be labeled “stupid” or “dumb” and to add more labels, “lazy”.
I flew through 8th grade and my high school years by the seat of my pants. I was an athlete. I didn’t disrupt the class. I turned in my work on time and made A’s and B’s. What the teachers (or my mom) didn’t know was that I didn’t study until the day before, or the day of the tests because I knew I couldn’t retain the information. I would forget when assignments were due or would confuse due dates like the 5th with the 8th (because in my brain 5 and 8 look-alike) so I would try to get all of my assignments completed as quickly as possible, which I know now meant poor quality and understanding of what was being asked of me. When test days came, I was confident I would do well but when all of my peers started to turn in their tests, I wasn’t even halfway through my questions so I would rush to answer and sometimes just guess answers to get my test turned in on time. What I know now is I had to read and re-read questions and answers multiple times to understand what was being asked of me but if given extended time on tests to read the questions, I could have aced them every single time! This also created test anxiety, and honestly, everyday anxiety.
I went off to college and it was so much harder than I had expected. The reading load was more than I could handle, I didn’t have good study habits, and I became so overwhelmed that I didn’t know how to prioritize my schoolwork. I was not getting good grades and I felt dumb because all of my friends were making it work. What was wrong with me?!? So I dropped out. I worked a full-time job in a pharmacy for 2 years, remembering the drug names, their uses, and counteractions. This was no easy task, especially for someone who was already so down on themselves, didn’t believe they would amount to anything, and fell into the statistics of a college dropout.
I started my college journey again in 2015, graduated in 2018, and was lucky enough to have met the Wilson Pediatric Therapy team in my undergraduate practicum course. They gave me compliments on the work I was doing, always told me how smart I was, and encouraged me to take on tasks outside of my comfort zone (I am a yes woman so they didn’t know I was uncomfortable). With all of this growth and positive encouragement, I started to realize that I was not dumb. I was capable. I was successful. I was worthy. Sure, I still struggle with reading and I prefer to watch a video to learn something aside from reading or listening to a lecture. Sure, I mispronounce words and am a horrible speller but like needing accommodations in school (which I would have definitely benefited from if I had known that was an option) I have learned what works best for me and how to communicate that with peers.
For example, I use Grammarly to help with my spelling and to give me quick definitions when I am unsure of words meaning or how to pronounce them. I laugh at myself and along with others when I do make a mistake (because it’s not that serious and I know spelling or reading has nothing to do with my intelligence). I ask to be shown how to do many things instead of just being told how to do it. I read and re-read emails to make sure I understand the context. I have learned to prioritize more reading or writing-heavy assignments for earlier in the day when my brain is fresh. I run my projects through Grammarly and have a peer review before submitting a final product. I know that I have trouble remembering names so I try to compliment new people I meet on something they’re wearing or something they have said so I remember our conversation next time.
All of this to say, if I had known about dyslexia and its effects when I was younger, I may not have struggled so hard in school or been self-deprecating at such a young age. I could have been taught why I think the way I do or how to overcome my overwhelm. I could have advocated for myself in school. I could have helped my friends and family understand my struggles instead of hiding them out of fear. Knowing what I know now, gives me a unique perspective and I am able to pass that along to parents within the community whose children are feeling the same. I am proud to have dyslexia and so thankful to work with a company that recognizes dyslexic thinking as a strength - and laughs with me when I make mistakes!
Give your child the power of a diagnosis and let them know they aren’t alone. Surround them with community, empower them to embrace their dyslexic thinking, and give them the courage do to difficult things.
Below are some of my favorite websites to direct those who want to learn more about dyslexia or ADHD. I hope you like them too!
